Freedom Lifestyle

Design Your Year: Which of These 3 Dreamer Types Are You? [SOLO]

• Sam Laliberte • Season 6 • Episode 87

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Are you steering your life towards a destination you've chosen or are you simply along for the ride?

Recounting my personal evolution from a wandering digital nomad to an advocate for living with intentional flexibility and presence.

  • Discover where you're on the spectrum of being able to truly design your life
  • What distinguishes the people who achieve their dreams and those who don't
  • How to feel more confident about setting bigger dreams
  • Prompts to uncover who you are when you're at your best 
  • Reflection questions to unpack what's stopping you from changing for the better

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About the show:

Sam Laliberte -  entrepreneur, digital nomad and freedom seeker, hosts the Freedom Lifestyle Podcast to expose people to the many ways you can design your dream life and unlock your own version of the freedom lifestyle. Her guests have empowered themselves through flexible work as a way to “have it all” - financial, location AND schedule freedom.

Speaker 1:

And it really starts with believing that you are in control of your life and really believing that you are in control of your own destiny, and there's kind of a vibe in the air right now that we're not. You're listening to the Freedom Lifestyle podcast series. I'm sharing relatable stories of freedom seekers who ditched conventional office life and courageously asked for more. The energy just completely shifted. My entire being just felt so free. My business was still generating income while I was on the beach. I decided to quit and just stay at home. I really can't work for anyone but me. It's literally just doing whatever the hell you want to do. As for me, I'm your host, sam, and I've spent the last four years creating a business that allows me to work from anywhere. The Freedom Lifestyle looks different for everyone. What's your free? Hello, freedom Seekers.

Speaker 1:

We are back with another solo episode from yours truly, sam, and today we are going to be talking about designing your year. Nothing gets me more fired up than talking about lifestyle design. Seriously, I spend so much time thinking deeply about what is my purpose, the purpose of Sam, what is my core message with this podcast, with this audience, with my life quest to make an impact with the Freedom Lifestyle, and that message has evolved so much over the last six plus years that I've been doing this, but one thing has always remained the same, which is the Freedom Lifestyle looks different for everyone. What's your free? That classic line that I love to end all my episodes with, because it really symbolizes that everyone's version of this is going to look different and in fact, it should look different. It would be weird if it didn't. And just because I'm someone who spends thousands of dollars on music festivals every summer and goes to Burning man, just because I'm somebody who likes to carve out time to learn extreme sports like highlighting across the mountains. I'm married to a partner who's into co-creation, married to someone who's comfortable with their feminine energy lol, if you know.

Speaker 1:

You know, just because that is my definition of living free and that's my version of the Freedom Lifestyle, it doesn't mean I expect that to be yours. What I do expect, or what I perhaps hope, and my wish and my desire, is that I help you on your journey of becoming more aware of what you actually want and what your version of the Freedom Lifestyle is, and when you are thinking about an upcoming year, you design it in a way that's reflective of your own desires and what you want, and you've given yourself the time and the space and the permission to actually just think, for yourself, to actually be like okay, wait a minute, is this path that I'm on, that I've been on for a while, or that I've just put myself on? Is that the one I want to be on? Still, am I heading in the right direction? And I think it's good that we revisit this, because we might set a big five-year goal for ourselves and three years in, we're just heading towards there. The new year comes up and we automatically think about that big five-year goal and we check off okay, how much closer did I get last year? What do I need to do this year to get even closer to that? But maybe that big five-year goal isn't even what you want anymore.

Speaker 1:

I've caught myself doing that where I remember for a long time I wanted to just be a full-time digital nomad. I wanted to own nothing. I wanted to be minimalistic, I wanted to live out of a suitcase, I wanted to have no fixed address. I really admired that lifestyle in my late 20s. I thought that was the coolest thing ever and that was what I was putting myself on and I kept being like, okay, am I fully a digital nomad? Ooh, I would feel maybe a bit embarrassed that I did still have a place, or I did still have a car or I did still have these things. That would make me not truly a digital nomad. And then I realized, wait a minute, am I just getting into another trap, a trap of following a definition of a certain type of lifestyle and what it has to look like? That's completely against everything I say. Really, what I want is the flexibility to be wherever I want to be or need to be at any given time. Thank you everyone. And that sometimes might mean being in my own place, where my comforts of home are, where my cute kitty is, where my nice big king-size bed with all my perfect bedding that I've hand selected, and I know I have the best sleeps there.

Speaker 1:

I had to give myself permission to change my definition of what a dream year would look like, and you want to revisit this fairly often because you can get caught in a trap and back on a path that you haven't even really thought about. And when I say my core message for freedom, lifestyle has evolved over time, when I think about it, it was always coming from a good place, like I've always wanted to be able to provide very concrete, actionable advice on this show and therefore have a niche be known for something when you listen to this podcast. I want you to be able to have takeaway skills, and so sometimes that has really put me on a path of okay, here is how you have location freedom, schedule freedom, financial freedom. Here's how you work from anywhere in the world. Here's the best way to do long-term travel. Here's how to get credit card points. Here's how to be a pro Airbnb host. All of these things that were related to my niche was coming from a place of wanting to provide value, but really the freedom, lifestyle looks different for everyone, and you don't have to be a business owner to really be thinking about designing your own year.

Speaker 1:

I think being in control of your schedule makes things a lot easier. Society makes so many decisions. For us, the average work week is 40 hours or more, which means you are spending most of your life working. When the average work hours are nine to five, then you're spending most of your day carving out what your lifestyle looks like outside of those core hours, and so naturally, I've always been drawn to how changing your work environment can help you change your life. But, like I said, I've evolved this quite a bit. I've allowed myself to get very curious about the people who really thrive in a more traditional working environment. So many of these people are very much designing their lives and very much pursuing their own version of the freedom lifestyle.

Speaker 1:

I do believe your version of the freedom lifestyle is truly available to everyone and anyone, but I do think there's a pretty big distinction between who gets to experience it and who never does. And this is what I want to talk a little bit about on today's episode and help you identify which one of these archetypes that I've really thought deeply about are you? Where are you on the spectrum of being able to truly design your life? And it really starts with believing that you are in control of your life and really believing that you are in control of your own destiny. And there's kind of a vibe in the air right now that we're not in control, and I'm really getting a sense when I'm talking to a lot of my friends lately. They're feeling stuck. So many people said to me oh, I didn't even really take the time this year to set goals or decide what I want or imagine what I want from this year. I'm just not feeling it. I'm not feeling creative and, to be honest, I can totally understand why some people are feeling that I have a theory, which is something that we've all experienced over the past three years. You know what I'm going to say COVID, the pandemic.

Speaker 1:

These past three years have made many of us feel like we aren't actually in control, that the plans we make, the trips we schedule, the events we're looking forward to they can be canceled at a moment's notice, and sometimes that can result in us feeling like what's the point of even dreaming at all? People have lost jobs over the past few years. People have lost loved ones. On top of that, there's also international unrest. We've had many of our lives impacted by the war in Ukraine and Russia and what's happening with Israel and Palestine, and when all of these things are happening very much at a global level, it can really make us feel like we can't really shape our destiny. And so, even if you're someone who isn't following the news and you're not reading the latest updates about what's happening in these massive global issues, you are likely being impacted on a subconscious level about how you think about your life. Don't even get me started on climate change. So where is this even going?

Speaker 1:

First of all, I want you to know that if you're feeling meh about your goals this year and your ability to dream and your ability to design your life, no, you are not alone. Like I said, so many of my friends have shared this sentiment with me. I was home for the New Year as I checked in on my friends what are you thinking about the New Year? What are your goals? Another thing I love to talk about and yeah, there's just like this vibe in the air, and I want to remind everybody that that is totally fair. Despite even all of the challenging things that have happened, life is still worth living. There is still joy to be had. There's still magic to be captured. I promise you that, and if you've even turned on this episode and are listening, there's a part of you that knows that. Right, we might have to get creative, but there's still always joy to be had in the pivots.

Speaker 1:

In order to feel like we are in control of our destiny, though, and feel excited about our ability to dream, we want to control some of the things that are controllable, and the number one thing that we can control is ourselves. It's how we show up, and this, this is the most annoying thing to realize over and over again. You know, when you're fighting with a friend or your partner or a parent or a family member and they are just annoying the hell out of you and you just want to be like damn it, stop doing this thing, it's driving me crazy, you're annoying me. Even in those moments, you know that you're being annoyed by something and it's probably something to do with you that you can probably look at and get less annoyed about. And so what you can always control is how you show up, it's how you respond to things, it's how you react and the more you can give yourself those little wins in those moments when you you have that space before reacting to something where you actually consciously decide it. You know that space I'm talking about.

Speaker 1:

For me, it's directly correlated with meditating. If I meditate, that space is there. If I don't meditate, there is no time to be choosing my reaction. I am a tiger. I am attacking, I am responding, I am hitting send on that email when I shouldn't be, I am grabbing that phone and calling somebody. It can be venom in my mouth. Sometimes, honestly, I can get really triggered and get really reactive, and so, whatever that is for you to be able to control that and control how you show up those little wins the more you do that, the more you're going to feel like, okay, it's small, it's simple, but I designed this hour. If I didn't behave this way, this hour would have gone a lot differently. If I had sent that message, if I had said what was just on the tip of my tongue, oh, things would have gone differently. The more you can do that, the more you're going to feel more in control in your life again, the more you're going to feel okay, I am in control of my destiny and subconsciously, that's going to make you feel more confident about setting bigger dreams, about truly feeling inspired and excited about the concept of even designing your year.

Speaker 1:

So before we get into action, before we actually start putting some ideas down on paper or sharing them with the universe in our mind, putting them out there into the world, I want you to ask yourself, when you think about the controllables and controlling the things that you can, when you think about who you are, when you are at your best, who are you Maybe think about last year. Maybe think about some of your favorite days, your favorite moments, your favorite feelings, those days where you just felt good, those days where you felt how you want to feel. Or maybe, if you're someone who isn't as in tune to your feelings and you're like Sam, I don't really know what I was feeling or when I'm feeling those days where you were taking the action and you were having the results that came from things that you were doing, where you were like, okay, I got this. Who were you on those days? Ask yourself what were my habits? What was I saying yes to? What was I saying no to? What was I consuming? You know, drinks, tv, food, social media, other forms of content. What was I taking in in those moments? Who was I sharing my energy with? How was I moving my body? How was I being still with my body? How was I using my brain? How was I giving my brain a rest?

Speaker 1:

When you look back on the previous year and you think about your best days, oh, and you were most you and your best self. Who were you being? And that is something that we can control, no matter what, and that's typically the person that we need to be when life gives us the unexpected, when life forces us to get creative or be flexible, when a snowstorm whirls through town and cancels your hot yoga class. Who you are in those moments and how you show up and how you respond to things that are outside of your control is what's in your control. And as much as we can have fun designing our external reality, which is ultimately where we're going in this episode, I promise you also want to have fun designing your internal reality. Who are you going to be this year? Who are you designing? What aspects of your personality are we playing with In a book I'm obsessed with?

Speaker 1:

If you listened to my episode I did a few weeks ago about the top content I consume this year, you will know that I read a book by Joe Dispenza called Breaking the Habit of being Yourself. Oh my goodness. I listened to that audio book last fall and I was completely fascinated by the science behind actually changing your personality and how much of that is in our control. And so, if you want to take this even one step further, if you're curious what actions you can take to truly design your personality, it's one thing to bring intention to it and, trust me, even just answering some of those prompts that I just gave you a few seconds ago, you are one step further than so many people. You are one step closer to being able to naturally and consistently and reliably show up as that person. But if you want to take it even one step further and know what kind of actions you can take on a daily basis to really reprogram those neurons in our brain and make those connections to be that person every day, naturally, check out his book. It was amazing.

Speaker 1:

So now, when we're designing our external reality, I find there are three types of people and I'm curious who you think you are most like. Which category do you fall into? The first one is someone who identifies as someone who doesn't have goals, as someone who doesn't have desires. They are satisfied with their life, or at least they think they are. In fact, they don't even typically think about it all. This person is typically going through life, going through the motions of life, responding to things as they came up, and they're pretty content in the process. They don't sit around wondering like could I be happier? Could this have been more satisfying? They are just who they are. It doesn't even cross their mind to ask them some of those prompts that I gave you and ask themselves what is the best version of myself? They're just content with the person that they are. We all know these people. In fact, I'm kind of jealous of these people. What a concept Just being completely oblivious to your inner consciousness and your inner critique and your inner voice, or maybe not even having one at all, someone in your mind telling you, hey, you should make these changes.

Speaker 1:

Oh, you could have done better. That sounds kind of blissful. I am not that person. I'm too far gone. I've read too many books, I've done too many psychedelics, I have listened to too much dubstep and gone into the inner psyche of my world to identify who I want to be, and I have now set a bar for myself, and I can't lower the bar.

Speaker 1:

A quote that I'm really using as a mantra this year when I'm designing my own year is it's almost impossible to exceed the expectations you set for yourself. How good is that right? If this is the bar that you set for yourself, then this is the best version of yourself. You're not gonna hit this person. It's pretty much impossible. And so you set that bar of who the best version of yourself is.

Speaker 1:

There's some people who don't do that. They just are who they are and they love who they are and they're not making any changes. So that's one category. The next category is somebody who has goals and has desires. They have an idea of things that they want. Maybe they have a plan, but it's not really one they feel confident in because they don't have success making this happen. Maybe it's the discipline. Maybe they don't have that consistent ability to make those changes, to show up as the person that they need to be to do the things that they want to do. Maybe they're in an environment where the people that they surround themselves with are not behaving and modeling the behavior that they want to emulate themselves, and so they're stuck. They're stuck at their current level. They're aware of another level they want to get to. They don't know how to get there. They haven't had success getting there and indicators that this could be.

Speaker 1:

You is often strong feelings of envy, jealousy, comparison, not really being able to be happy for other people because you just want so badly what they have and you don't know how to get there. You might also be feeling a strong sense of shame. You might be feeling bad about yourself that another year went by and you didn't get closer to those dreams. You didn't get closer to your goals. It was another year of unchecked boxes, of items remaining on the bucket list, of staying stagnant, and you might feel shame about that, you might feel embarrassed or sad, and ultimately this results in not feeling like you're in control of your own destiny. What's the point? I don't know how to get there, and so I'm just going to feel bad for myself, and if you stay in that for too long, you end up having a victim mindset. You just feel like the world has just really screwed you over and you got the short end of the stick and everyone else is thriving and you will always be left behind and everyone else is living these big, exciting, aligned, amazing lives, and that'll never be you, and you can build resentment, and so I think this is the worst place you can be. I would much rather be oblivious and think I'm amazing and have no goals than having goals and feeling like they're completely unachievable and therefore hating life and not feeling optimistic about my future.

Speaker 1:

For me, life is such a gift. I've always naturally had a zest for life. When I go to bed every night, I really evaluate each day on. Did I truly live? Did I seize the day? And if I feel like I didn't seize the day, I can't rank my day a five. The same people who made the five minute planner intelligent change. They also have a productivity planner and at the end of every day you actually rank your day one to five. And it's those days where I really feel like I went after life. I captured it, I did the things that I wanted to do, I had nice moments with friends, I moved my body, I did something fun. I didn't just sit there and work all day and go to sleep but and then start it over. Those days got like a two. But the days where I felt like I utilize that natural zest for life that I have, those are the days I could give myself a five.

Speaker 1:

Okay so, third type of person. The third type of person is somebody who feels empowered about designing their own life. They feel in control of their destiny. They have desires. They've had the experience of actually getting what they want in the past, and so they are more likely to enjoy the process because they believe it works. However and this is a big one how that person goes about designing their life could look completely different from somebody else in this category, and this is another thing I've recently observed by just talking to more and more people.

Speaker 1:

I have a lot of very ambitious people in my life who wouldn't identify as a goal setter, as someone who makes a plan for the year, who's like doing a 90 day sprint and has a week by week action plan of how they're going to get what they want. Everything about that just doesn't align with them. But absolutely they have goals, absolutely they have dreams and they know the direction that they're going in their life. They're just not someone who's going to have the spreadsheets, who's going to put dates on things, who's going to buy the ticket, who's going to create the calendar and invite, create an action plan and follow it. By the way, if those things I'm describing are you preach, we're in this together. That is my style. But this other type of way is completely a valid. They don't want to stifle their creativity or the serendipity that is life, where just something unexpected could be around the corner. That's even bigger than that they imagined when they started their year and when they filled their year with plans and commitments and the step by step process that's going to get them to where they think they want to go. They feel like they're gonna miss out on something even better, and I actually fucking love that, and I want to bring back more of that into my life, because that is who I used to be.

Speaker 1:

I was never that rigid. I've had to become much more rigid, structured and disciplined since going out on my own, since being my own boss, because if I don't work or if I don't do what I say I'm gonna do, if I don't wake up and take action and motivate myself, I'm not gonna get paid. I'm not gonna have the freedom of choice, I'm not gonna have the freedom to do what I want, what I want where I want and all the things that I love. So I've had to be much more regimented, but there's something to be said about this, leaving space open for the unexpected, and so, regardless of where you fall, these styles are completely valid and you're somebody who believes in their ability to design their year and design their lives, and no matter where you are on this scale, there is something I do believe Even if you are somebody who doesn't identify as having goals or things they want to change themselves, I believe every single person has desires.

Speaker 1:

Every single person has things within them about how they would like their life to look, things that they'd love to make happen, experiences that they would love to have, ways that they would really be excited and feel satisfied if their life unfolded in that way. And every single one of us, if we are lucky right, this is the goal is that we get to our deathbed and we have some period of time where we know our life is ending and that is going to be our personal judgment day. Every single one of us who gets to the point of getting to look back on their life and know their life is ending and is on that deathbed moment. Every single one of us is going to have a moment where we look back on our lives and we think did I do it right? Did I live a life that I'm satisfied with? I only got one. We only get one shot at this.

Speaker 1:

I think Not really sure I am where I stand on the whole reincarnation thing and all of that, but we get one shot at this life, I believe, and at the end of it you're going to look back and you're going to say did I do it right? Am I satisfied? Am I okay to go? Am I happy with how I spent my time? Did I live a good life? Did I live it well and remember the definition of freedom?

Speaker 1:

It looks different for everyone, but what is the same for all of us is that we're all going to die ideally, not suddenly, ideally not unexpectedly, ideally in a way where we see death is coming and we have that period to look back on our lives. And so I think it's crucial we all owe ourselves. It's a personal responsibility that we should take 100% seriously, which is what do I want out of my life? And have a really still and honest conversation with yourself about what a successful life looks like for you. So that is the one thing I believe. I believe all of us have a definition of that and that when we die, we're going to look at that definition, and you don't want that definition to come up late. You want to decide that early and start acting on that definition. Trust me, I've been around old people and when they're looking back on their lives and they aren't satisfied, it's not pretty. It's honestly really sad, and if you've ever spent time with an older person who is looking back at their life with regrets, ooh, sticky feeling. Don't want that. Okay. So that's the first thing I believe.

Speaker 1:

The second thing I believe is that if nothing is changing, nothing is changing. If you are feeling unsatisfied with things, it's probably because you are staying the same. You are likely staying the same person. Who do you need to be to become the person that gets what they want? It always starts with us. We attract the right opportunities and the right environments when we put ourselves in those right environments, and we all know this. You know this. You know that if you're not making the change, that's likely the reason why you're not seeing the change. And so ask yourself what are you pretending that you don't know? I heard that question on a recent episode of the Powerhouse Women podcast and I fucking loved it. I thought it was so good. What are you pretending not to know? Sit with that question.

Speaker 1:

We all have those actions that we're consistently taking, those environments we repeatedly put ourselves in, those people we continue to hang out with and we pretend it's fine, we ignore it. We're like, oh, that doesn't really matter, that's not really going to affect my ability to make that dream happen or that goal happen. I can get away with this. Oh, this is fine. This doesn't impact anything. This is just one little part of my life over here. I'm still going to get these results over here. I'm just going to do this one thing we're all pretending we're naive and we're not naive. What are you pretending not to know? Someone who listens to this show is much more woke and much more evolved than they're admitting to themselves. If you are repeatedly doing toxic behaviors and I know toxic is kind of an extreme word, but it is toxic in a sense. That isn't the definition of like, crazy or psycho or something like that is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different results. What are you pretending you don't know?

Speaker 1:

And the third thing that I believe, however you are approaching, going after your desired lifestyle and what you want to make happen this year and the dreams that you have for yourself, I believe that every single one of us could be playing bigger. It's very common that when it actually gets time to set a goal, to say a goal outside, to say a goal out loud, to admit a dream to ourselves and with others, it's typically when we already kind of have a plan for how we're going to do it. We already believe it's possible. We're on some kind of track already to that, and that is when we actually admit and we take that risk of saying, hey, this is something I want, because you already feel confident it's possible. I really want to give you permission to come up with some dreams and goals. We're like I actually have no idea if I could ever make that happen in this lifetime. In fact, I think I can't. Honestly, it's okay if you think you can't, but if you look at your goals that you created for 2024 and the things that you're designing, if I asked you what would making that 10% bigger and better and more exciting and more vibrant look like? What would that look like? So some prompts that I've given you in this episode for sure, that I really want you to sit with. I also want to support you in this.

Speaker 1:

If you haven't already downloaded the free template I created and launched earlier this month, it's called Design your Year. This is where I want you to start with all of this, because the process should really look like beginning with reflecting on the previous year. It's so easy for us to want more and more and more without actually taking a beat and thinking about what were the wins of last year. What were the key learnings, what were the core memories I don't want to lose, what were the lessons that I really want to take in and act on?

Speaker 1:

And then, in the template, I give you a process to help you identify which areas of your life that, if you changed, would make the biggest impact in your satisfaction, your life satisfaction, because it's one thing for me to give you a plan to quit your job and become a freelancer, but when we're talking about designing your life and designing your own freedom, lifestyle, that has to look different for everybody. And so I have this little mathematical formula I came up with to help you identify your biggest gaps in life where you could be feeling more satisfied with it, you could be living happier, more content and again closer to being at that judgment day at the end of our lives and being able to look back and be like I did it. Well, take me, jesus, or whoever you're talking to, I'm ready to go. So that's the next part of the template, and then from there, there's some prompts. Once you understand which areas of your life that could make the biggest difference if you change, there's some prompts to get the you know, the juices flowing.

Speaker 1:

For those who like that structure, but for those who really just want to keep a blank space open, this will help you have the direction of like what are the buckets in my life that I want to open up more space for and put some more energy towards that. So, no matter where you fall on that dreaming spectrum, you'll be able to play within that area. And then, for those who do download this free template and only for those who do remember, this is free. I'm inviting the group to a free follow up call where we're going to take those dreams and those goals and together we're going to make them 10% bigger. I'm not going to give too much more away because I do want to share it with that group live and only with those people who take that first step with me. So template is free, the call is free. I hope to see you there. Until next time, friends, enjoy your freedom.

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Sam Laliberte

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