Rejection is an opportunity for redirection.
Every time you practice your resiliency skills it creates a compounding effect. The next time you’re faced with a setback, you’re quicker to respond with a solution and move forward.
Here are three stories where rejection and not getting what I wanted was actually a wonderful stroke of luck 🍀
Additional Links:
About the show:
✨ Freedom Lifestyle is an online community and podcast series that empowers the movement towards flexible work. Sam Laliberte interviews remote workers, digital nomads and self-employed people who've pursued a lifestyle that allows them to work from anywhere. Sam discovers their version of the Freedom Lifestyle, learn how they got there and reflect on the impact its had. ✨
Rejection is an opportunity for redirection.
Every time you practice your resiliency skills it creates a compounding effect. The next time you’re faced with a setback, you’re quicker to respond with a solution and move forward.
Here are three stories where rejection and not getting what I wanted was actually a wonderful stroke of luck 🍀
Additional Links:
About the show:
✨ Freedom Lifestyle is an online community and podcast series that empowers the movement towards flexible work. Sam Laliberte interviews remote workers, digital nomads and self-employed people who've pursued a lifestyle that allows them to work from anywhere. Sam discovers their version of the Freedom Lifestyle, learn how they got there and reflect on the impact its had. ✨
The worst part was, is it made me question my ability to promote something on camera and be on camera and ever create an online course, which is what I eventually thought I would do Hey, freedom seekers. You're listening to episode 47 of the freedom lifestyle podcast series. Always a pleasure being back in your ears. So thanks for tuning into another one. This is going to be a solo episode about me admitting to just three of the times that I've been pretty intensely rejected, but did it anyway. In preparing for this episode, I actually did some research on the topic of rejection and I found a particularly interesting article from psychology today. It's called 10 surprising facts about rejection. And there was one that I'm sure you can relate to and will be nodding along as I'm saying this, which outlines how we relive and re-experience social pain. Much more vividly than we do physical pain. So do this exercise with me for a minute, try recalling a physical pain moment in your past, perhaps you broke your arm or you fell off your bike, you stubbed your toe. Maybe you lost your toenail. I've been there. Unfortunately, when you think back to those memories, it doesn't necessarily elicit those same painful feelings. Your brain just kind of says ma yeah, I remember that. And it's not very vivid. You're not back in that experience. But when I tell you to think about a time that you were rejected, whether it was 11 trust or perhaps more relevant to this community, A time where you really put yourself out there. Perhaps for a professional opportunity, a freelance gig, a speaking opportunity. You pitched yourself and you got rejected. I bet you're flooded with a lot more vivid memories. And emotions, and it really just goes to show how the brain really prioritizes these types of experiences and gives you more of a visceral memory when you're thinking about them compared to other physical pains. That was definitely my experience and creating today's episode for you and reliving three stories in which I was rejected, where at the time it was really difficult to swallow and accept that this was happening. But of course it was an opportunity to be resilient and turn rejection into redirection. So we're going to talk a lot about that today, but to end this intro on a more positive note, Something I'm really excited about that's coming up is a fiver, a brand that I have loved from day one, the world's largest marketplace for freelance services. They're going to be hosting a full day, virtual summit, all about moving your online business forward. It's taking place on Thursday, July 9th. I'm going to be speaking at it, which I'm super excited about the entire day will be a mix of skills based workshops, resources that they're sharing opportunities to network, and then conversations about future trends in this ever changing economy. My talk will be at one 30 Eastern time. I believe I would love for you to join me. The event is free. It's called the shift. I will include a link to register for the free I went in today's show notes. Now, before we dive deeper into the topic of rejection, because I've got three stories for you in this episode, let's hear an ad from one of our very own freedom seekers. do you want to get a free ad for your business on season four of the freedom lifestyle podcast while I've totally got you in an effort to support more small businesses during COVID-19 I'm offering a new free podcast ad stimulus. Program simply go to what's. Your free.com/free ad and upload a 22nd audio ad for your business. You may just hear it on next week's episode. Okay. Today's episode all about rejection and how rejection can actually be redirection if you just figure out how to do it anyway, which in these three stories is exactly what I did. These are examples where there were times in my life where I had a dream and I had a goal. And I wanted something to happen, but I didn't necessarily have the courage to go create that for myself and make it happen for myself. I was still waiting for someone to give me that opportunity. And holding out for perfect timing, so to speak. And so in all three of these cases, someone else had a dream that they were making happen and they thought I could fit into it. And it seemed like it was mutually beneficial. Great. I was gonna get what I wanted and some form or another, and someone else was going to do most of the work to make that happen. And all three of these cases, I ended up getting rejected pretty much the last minute. Getting my hopes up and getting pretty disappointed and a bit embarrassed and having to decide what I wanted to do next. in these cases, I did it anyway, and it ended up being so much better than had I went with the original partner and essentially fit my goals into inevitably making their dreams happen. we'll close off with what some of the lessons are for you along with some of my favorite quotes and mantras that I now apply to rejection. If you end up finding even one of these three stories, inspiring or valuable, I really hope you will share this episode with your networks, with someone who needs to hear it. It would mean so much to me. I'm really, really trying to grow my audience and season for every one of you listening right now. You mean so much to me. I love you so much. And I'd love there to be some more of you. So if you can share this online on social media and tag me, I will repost and it will totally brighten up my day. but only if you got value. So let me start talking first and you can decide at the end, if you want to do that favor for me. The first story is how I got my first speaking engagement for freedom lifestyle. So this is 2017, the fall of 2017, and I've just launched my podcast. I'm a couple episodes in and I've decided I want to secure a speaking engagement. I want to speak to an audience. I want to be motivating. I want to tell the story of the freedom lifestyle, and I want to do it in person. I had had speaking engagements in the past for my previous business as Ezzy Lynn, which you heard about a couple episodes ago about how I started and ended that business after three years. And I'd also spoke on behalf of companies that I'd worked for, but I'd yet to have an opportunity to speak to an audience about the freedom lifestyle and about the idea of working and living, however you want really? So, this is what I was manifesting at the time and sure enough, it came into my life. Someone referred me for a speaking opportunity that was happening at we work. There was a woman who was putting on an event and she was looking for a third speaker. It was going to be for an audience of 70 people. I just had to show up and she'd give me 10 minutes to talk about whatever I wanted. I was so stoked. I was pumped. I was like, this is happening. I don't have to market the event on how to do any of the work. I just get to show up and talk to 70 people. How sick is this told my mom saved the day, come into town, told my friends block off the date. I was really, really pumped. And after giving her my idea for what I was going to talk about, she essentially went cold. She stopped replying to my emails. Things got kind of weird. I ended up reaching out to their friend who referred me to see if she knew about anything. And I just had a bad feeling like something wasn't gonna work out. So sure enough, two months before the event, she reached back out to me and said, honestly, I've had a change of heart. I decided this type of topic just doesn't fit for my audience and I'm canceling the event altogether. I'm not interested in sharing the freedom lifestyle with my community. Ouch. That hurt, that sucked. I felt like that was a serious blow. And I was a bit embarrassed because I had already told everybody but then shortly after there was kind of a bright side. I think it was that evening. there were two other speakers who were meant to speak at the event with me. And they ended up reaching out and said, you know what? Let's just host our own event. Why let this stop us. We were also excited why don't the three of us collaborate on an event together? And I thought, wow, how powerful is that? Let's just do it anyway. Power of resilience, but I'm sure you're hearing by the tone of my voice, where this is going. It did not end up working out. It was looking promising. The three of us all had different visions for what the event should look like. And we were all willing to compromise. We were all tweaking our initial idea and finding something that made all three of us happy. We reached out to we work they were very busy that month and there was actually only one date left in the entire month. And we said, we'll take the date. Absolutely. If it's the only night available, let's do it. This is happening, told all my friends, the new date. And even though it wasn't the perfect vision for what I wanted the event to be in what I wanted to talk about, I was still excited and it was collaborating and I wasn't having to do all the work on my own and really put myself out there and risk failing. But then what ended up happening is we found out the date of the event that we had scheduled was the same evening of another event happening in Toronto. There was an organization in Toronto who hosts regular events for female entrepreneurs, and they had one of their regular events that evening. And the other two women that I was going to be planning on the event with. They decided that they were not comfortable competing with this event. They didn't want to step on her toes. They didn't want to offend her. And I was really surprised to hear this because I feel like there's room for all of us. There's enough business to go around. And you know, this is just one little event. They do events all the time. Surely they'll understand. I felt so strongly about this, that I even reached out to the event organizer to let her know, Hey, this is the situation. It's the only date we're not trying to compete with you. We're super excited. It's our first event. you understand. She got it. She was fine with it, but still the other two women that I was supposed to be doing the event with decided they. They didn't want to compete and they wanted to play nice and they wanted to attend her event. Which is fair. I respect that everyone's on their own journey, but for me at this point, I just couldn't go back. I had the date, I had the venue reserved. My mum was come in. My friends knew something was happening. This was something I really wanted. So, what I ended up doing is saying this is super scary, but I'm just going to plan the entire event myself. And it's going to be a live podcast taping for the freedom lifestyle. So if you've been an OG of the show, you probably remember that after season one of the podcast, I had a live event at, we work, there was 70 people. So the same amount of audience as the original event. It was how I actually got my first brand sponsor Fiverr. We had three amazing interviews. I got to interview the guests and totally do my thing. I got to have a little intro at the beginning, talking about the freedom lifestyle at ended up being so much more aligned with what I visioned. And it wasn't a compromise by trying to fit a group of different people's visions into one event. I'm very, very proud of that evening. And it ended up being how I closed off season too. So we did it again, live podcast, taping to wrap up season two, this time a hundred people, more sponsors, more speakers. Honestly, it was a lot, but. It really just goes back to this initial story of wanting to speak, having someone else, give me the opportunity and then it not working out. And instead of taking that in and internalizing that as. I'm not good enough. This is a sign. I shouldn't be doing this. I did the heart and scary thing, which was move on anyway and see this as an opportunity to create something completely on my own. one of the mantras here is how rejection often means redirection. Now I've actually had people hire me to consult on hosting a live podcast, taping for their events and it never wouldn't have happened if I didn't get rejected that initial time. Okay. If you thought story, number one about risking burning bridges with other community leaders was uncomfortable. This one. It's just so much more awkward and uncomfortable because this was a story about how I was actually told. I am not very good on camera. And that I wasn't a fit basically based on my personality and how I presented myself and how I got rejected in the last minute for an opportunity that I had been manifesting. And I was letting someone else give to me versus again, just doing it for myself, which I had in me the whole time. this is the story about how launch a podcast on a budget, the workshop series, which is now an online course, actually got started. This would have been summer 2018 and aware, I was learning more about multiple revenue streams, and I was trying to sort out how I kid. Create more income for myself, essentially. I knew I really liked teaching and educating, but I wasn't exactly sure how it could monetize that yet. And the closest thing that I had seen for myself, right. An expander. Something that I saw was possible was being a teacher at a school like general assembly or brain station where they essentially have workshops on different topics and people can pay to go to the workshops. I've attended them in the past speakers. Were great. They were experts in their field and I saw myself in the speakers and thought, Hey, that's something I would really like to do, but I didn't know how to go about doing that. I assumed that I would just get hired to work for one of these schools. So what an opportunity actually got presented to me, I thought this was it. This was my moment. I had a friend that was an expert in marketing and they were starting a marketing school and they had been testing it with other workshops and we're having success. And they were now looking to expand their roster of speakers. He thought that I'd be a great fit to teach on organic sales and marketing. How do you build a brand without spending too much money on a budget? Very up my alley being in the startup world. And not really ever working for a big company with lots of money and resources to make things happen. So I was super excited about it, not so much because that was a topic I wanted to teach, but I was excited about the idea to get paid, to teach, which was all I had been manifesting and putting out there. And I was going to partner with someone who would essentially take all the risk away. All I had to do again, was show up and teach the content and I'd get paid. It would be their responsibility to fill the room and market it and make sure it was a success. I would get paid no matter what. I thought that was really exciting. I got started right away on the curriculum and what I thought a two hour workshop would look like. They asked me to do a test run of the workshop for them, which is totally fair. I did it. They loved it. They said that it was complete gold. They were executive marketers and had been in the industry for 20 years. And said that the tactics I was teaching were super spot on. It was stuff that they hadn't known about. They thought there was so much value and they were very, very excited to work with me. Everything was looking really good, but then they had the great idea that they wanted to promote the actual workshop using videos, the partners involved, they had a background in video production and editing. So they had an at home studio with tons of fancy lights and cameras and a green screen, and they wanted to produce a video of me selling the course and telling people to show up for the course. I thought that sounded great. I thought I was pretty good on camera and I thought that it would be fun to have the experience of working with professionals and video production. And I was confident that the video would turn out really great. I didn't ask many questions, but then when they sent me some video examples from some of the other instructors that they had been working with and the videos that they were creating, for lack of a better word, they were just cheesy a F in my opinion, they were very salesy, super scripted, super acted, not natural, just not me I'm someone who I try to be genuine, authentic. I don't take myself overly seriously. I'm more nonchalant. I've been given feedback that I'm not particularly professional of a person. I'm not that corporate, which is totally fair. That's why I'm doing my own thing and pursuing my own. Entrepreneurial adventure in life. And I've accepted that about me. But they were definitely going for a very corporate look in terms of how they were presenting these workshops and I took their feedback on the style that they wanted, at one point, my cat was even involved. We did some type of joke about comparing my Bengal cat, too, just like a random dog and how my course would teach you that. And it was just. Super super cheesy and not me. The day I showed up on set. They did not like what I was awaring. They thought it was a bit unprofessional and even use the word sexy. A little bit, um, it was a bright colored shirt with a little bit of a keto. Yes. But they didn't think it was a proper brand representation. So I actually had to go to the mall and buy a new dress shirt that I have honestly, never worn since. And it just sits in my closet now. But again, I went with it. I tried to keep a good attitude, tried to stay positive, enthusiastic, despite. You know, being a bit embarrassed that I was getting all this feedback and, and kind of being triggered to all those times. I tried to have a job and was told I didn't fit in and I, and I wasn't professional or. Corporate enough and I didn't fit the look and the style that they were wanting. So it was bringing up a lot of stuff for me, but I tried to stay strong and I went with it. And we did the recording. It took a long time. We kept having to stop and redo and they would give me feedback, asking me to be more animated and enthusiastic and use my hands certain ways and look at the camera and emphasize my voice and just be serious. I was just really taking all of their feedback as face value. I thought they were experts. I assumed they had done this before and I was treating it as media training. So I went home just hoping for the best that. People who had this type of studio and all this fancy equipment and had been in the industry. Of course, this is going to be good. When they sent me the initial draft video, I couldn't even watch the full thing. I just, it was so cringe and awkward and just not me. It was really embarrassing. And the thought of even sharing it on my social channels made me feel really scared, but I didn't know if it was just me. Worrying about what people would think, and that this was just me being insecure about myself. So I sent it around to some friends that I trusted and right away they gave me the feedback. They said, This isn't you, this doesn't seem genuine at all. It seems pretty salesy and just not an accurate reflection of you. So I went back and forth and gave them some feedback and ask them to change some things. And we did a few more studio sessions and every time I would just say, I'm not comfortable with this. Can we do this again? Can we do that again? I just had a number of revisions. And at the end of the day, he basically said that he doesn't think I'm a fit. He doesn't think that I'm a natural on camera. And they basically just like cut me from this project and out of this team. They were still gonna move forward with the workshops and all the speakers, but they would not be using me as a teacher. I'd probably put 30 hours at this point into this project, creating the actual content, doing the run through with them, going to the mall to buy a new shirt and all this is on me for not asking for compensation up front and just trusting that it would all work out. There was no contract in place at this point. It was all just on Goodwill. A friend was involved. I just. Foolishly thought this would all work out. And in the end it was a huge waste of time. The worst part was, is it made me question my ability to promote something on camera and be on camera and ever create an online course, which is what I eventually thought I would do and create passive income, like so many digital nomads that I was now networking with and meeting with at the time so it was a pretty big confidence blow and blow to my ego. But what worked in my favor is that this experience came after story number one. So that speaking event where a dream I had got taken away from me and I did it any way to make it happen. And it worked in my favor. Every time you do this, every time you turn rejection into redirection and you build your resiliency, that has a compounding effect. Then the next time you're faced with a challenge where you get to decide, am I going to take this as a sign that I'm not good enough? Or am I going to take this as a sign that I need to take things into my own hands and not rely on other people to give me opportunities as the only way to achieve my dream. There are still lots of times where a strategic relationships make sense. But it has to be a partner who trusts you to be you who sees the value in you completely and wants to leverage you and support you and build you up and use all of your gifts. Not try to change you and make you fit into another mold, which what was happening with this partnership. Thankfully I had worked on that resilience skill and I decided I'm not gonna let this stop me. And I'm going to teach a workshop. I'm going to start super small. I'm going to do it. I feel comfortable with, but I'm going to do it anyway. I decided I was going to teach on podcasting, launch a podcast on a budget. That was, what I had actually wanted to teach at is actually what I felt like was an in demand type of content that I thought could compete well in the market. I hadn't seen One teaching on this topic. So I thought it had a good shot and make lemonade a coworking space in Toronto. I knew they had a room, the squeeze, if you're from Toronto, you know, that super cool room they have 12 chairs in it. So I knew I just had to sell 12 tickets for it to be a success. I rented their venue from them, picked a date throughout the event on event Brite and marketed it for$35 a ticket. I sold all 12 seats and it was still three weeks before the event where we sold out and I had had that market validation. So I said, okay, well, let's see if we can sell 12 more. So I literally just duplicated. The event on event Brite and booked another date at make lemonade I think this time I sold tickets for$40. I wanted to see if I could charge$5 more. And again, it's sold out and I ended up doing almost monthly, these workshops for the next couple of years, I hosted them in Toronto and in Vancouver, I ended up increasing the price to$50 a ticket and still selling out. And it became this whole other side hustle and business. It's now an online course. It's now the only podcasting course as well on five or learn. And it never would have happened if I would've just settled for teaching sales and marketing for that other company, as a workshop instructor, and honestly getting paid$200 a workshop. When I was in that scenario, I was basically just getting paid by the hour versus doing it myself. The more people I can fill in the room. The more money I can make. Yes, I take the risk. Yes. I have to pay the venue. I have to buy the snacks. I have to get some gifts for a giveaway to do something fun. I'm taking on a lot more of that risk, but you're getting to do it all on your own, which is so much more rewarding. And from an income standpoint, it's a lot more uncapped. The mantra and lesson in this one is that if you do not build your own dream, someone will hire you to help build theirs. Rejection story. Number three, this one I've actually told quite a few times. That's a big part of my journey. The first two stories I've actually never shared with anyone really. just my friends who had to stick with me during those rejections. No, those small setbacks. Whereas this one was a pretty big and pretty loud setback. It's the story of how I even became a remote freelancer in the first place. And how it starts with me trying to move to San Francisco. So this is back early 2017. I'm working in Toronto at a tech startup in a software sales role. And for the most part, it was pretty good. I liked the product. I had cool colleagues. It was a fun culture. I was making good money. However, there was absolutely no work from home policy. I would fly to San Francisco, which is where my then boyfriend now fiance was living and I'd go like Friday night and I'd have to be back for Monday morning. And my work would never let me work remotely from there. So she's getting super frustrating. I didn't think it was fair. It was also expensive flying back and forth. So my plan was to literally recreate my same life in terms of my career go get a software sales job, San Francisco, silicone Valley. Tons of tech startups. I figured I'll just go do that there. And I was right. There was tons of opportunities. I had a friend who had been through Y Combinator, which is an accelerator program in San Francisco for tech startups. And he basically posted in the alumni Slack channel about me and I had 12 different companies reach out and say, they'd love to chat. So it was a really, really exciting time. Actually. I think I interviewed with. Maybe like six or 10 of them virtually kind of picking my top four and scheduling a day of person interviews in San Francisco. From there, I got offers from at least two of them, two that really come to mind and stand out that I really had a difficult time deciding between. And everything I had been told in my career prior to this was just get that offer. Once you have the offer, you're good to go. The job is yours, your secure. So I had offers from my top two companies. And it was really difficult to decide which one I was going to pick. They both sounded amazing. It was more money than I'd ever been offered before. And I had spent so much time with both of the teams. This all happened over a two month period. So I really got to know the teams well, and it was a very tough decision. I remember reaching out to my mentor, sending him my pros and cons list. And even he. said at the end of the day, these are amazing opportunities. You have to really go with your intuition on this one. in the end I went with one of the companies signed it, they were excited. I was excited. I proudly quit my job because at that point I was just so frustrated and ready to move on from there non flexible work style. And I was so excited to be with my boyfriend. Right. And moved to San Francisco. What an awesome opportunity I had. Of course you're getting where this is going about three weeks later. So this is after I signed the offer. Quit. My job started the visa process. I'd already started contacting immigration and getting all of my documents in order. I get a random email from someone I'd never even heard from before that worked for HR from the company. Saying, Hey, we need to get on a call to talk about your visa. And right away when I got that email, there was like a pinging in my stomach where I felt like something was wrong, but I just tried to dismiss it and tell myself. What could be wrong? You have the offer it's signed. This company loves you. I'll note that in the interview process, the VP of sales literally dropped the L word. Okay. He said, my entire team loves you. They were so excited about me. They were actually creating an entirely new role for me. they wanted to open an entirely new department and they wanted me to manage the team for it. So you can imagine just how pumped I was and how proud I was of myself that I was scoring such a cool opportunity. And that it seemed like such a great fit. We'd spent all these months together. They said they loved me. What could go wrong? Sure enough. Get on webcam with this woman. And with absolutely no empathy, they basically just tell me that they spoke to their lawyers and they're actually not comfortable hiring a Canadian right now. And oops, we probably should have looked into this earlier in the process. It was awful. I'll save you the pitiful story where i basically beg for the job back and ask them to reconsider i got my own immigration lawyer who hopped on a call with them and gave them their advice and said it was a good idea I did a totally risky move and emailed the ceo and said hey i just want to let you know what's happened over the last two months at your company Got on a call with him and tried to save the job in the end they were from they made a mistake they shouldn't have offered me the job in the first place and the job is no longer available to me So next move i did was i went back to the other company with my tail between my legs and basically just owned it and said look i think i made A massive mistake i should have chosen you will you take me back And frankly i respect it they said no they said we need to be your number one priority and we're obviously not It was so embarrassing the amount of people i told i was moving to california my family the job i had just quit all my colleagues i couldn't bear to admit what i had just done i had so much shame around that i really thought i dropped the ball how could you be so stupid how could you quit your job For a job that doesn't even exist how could you get yourself into this situation and it was really awful it was so bad that my old job threw me a going away party and I attended it and pretended everything was fine i remember like crying in the bathroom it was extremely traumatic it was a character building summer that is for sure but that was about three years ago now and it was one of the best things that's ever happened to me Because it was from this experience and this desire to be in san francisco Mar with my partner that i even discovered the idea of remote work and freelance And the idea of working from anywhere I thought it had to be permanently in san francisco but as soon as i started remote freelancing i realized this was the best of both worlds i wasn't really ready to leave all of my amazing friends and family behind in toronto i loved my apartment i had a great community there my entire family is here So this was the best of both worlds and as you know It's what started this podcast the whole reason i'm even talking to you and you're listening and i have something to say and you care to listen is because of this huge setback that's probably one of the biggest F ups i've done in my career and i i still shame myself a little bit for not being more responsible about it and not really making sure that i had everything in a row before i quit my job But at the same time i have no regrets because i don't even know if i ever would have done this the mantra here for this one is sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck there, you have it, three stories of rejection. And so curious, did this resonate, do you have stories like this to wear something super bad happened? And you're actually so glad it did because it turned into something so much more magical. I would love to hear that. Please hit me up on social media. Shoot me an email. Even Sam at what's your free.com Maybe you have a friend that just went through a huge setback themselves and they could really hear three stories of encouragement where setbacks can actually be opportunities. if you just take that rejection and redirect it. It can actually be something super beautiful. So please share this with them. I'm trying to grow the listeners. Every one of you counts and means. So, so, so much to me. Thank you for tuning into another episode next week, I'll be releasing. It will be too many interviews in one it's called digital nomads in quarantine. I interviewed two nomads who were stuck at home because of COVID and we chatted about that and what they think the future of travel would be, and a little bit more about how they became digital nomad. So I think that one's gonna be really fun. I'm excited to release it. Lots of editing to do for you. So I'll be back in your Is Next week until then enjoy your freedom